Sex and Marriage

The other day, I watched Bethenny Ever After, and on this particular episode, she introduced how tough the second year of marriage can be. One statement she made which struck a cord was that having sex three times a week was EXCESSIVE. I chuckled when I saw this because I kept thinking about the word “excessive.” Now I will be very real for a second, after listening to many married couples over the years, sex is definitely not a determining factor or the focal point of a marriage, however, it is the fun and often spontaneous aspect that most people wish to share, without guilt when they do get married. So three times a week is “excessive” pretty much shocked me. Being the person that I am, my curiosity ran wild and I decided to do some research, to figure out if that statement rang true in most marriages. I asked several married people and let’s just say it was a pretty accurate statement. The conversations however led into a much more in-depth discussion.

Most agreed that the honeymoon stage in the marriage is the absolute best. The average time for a honeymoon stage, which is the first couple of months in a marriage, lasts anywhere between 3-6 months…LET’s just say that during this time couples HOUND each other like DOGS every day with, what they call GREAT SEX by being spontaneous and adventurous…This is a time period that most couples strive to hold onto, but it gets lost in this thing called life.When that loss happens people reality becomes this…

All the people that I spoke with, definitely agreed that the number of times married couples have sex a week depending on the individuals in the marriage, and most agreed that 2-3 times a week would be fantastic, but sometimes 0 times a week for most is the REALITY. It depends heavily on work schedules, children and just the appreciation of alone time. Most of the married men did agree that during a marriage the woman has all the control when it comes time to having sex. Most married women stated that the schedules and the daily irritations that come with life and marriage just kills the spontaneity for romance. Therefore sex than becomes a chore rather than constant excitement. Most couples did say that making time for sex and romance to remind each other that the attraction is still there is very important to help keep a healthy marriage.

However, one thing that took me by surprise, is that most men said during a woman’s pregnancy the men has all of the control…Shocking right? Reason being is that during pregnancies women hormones run wild and the constant drive to have sex is so much, that the men can’t even handle!! However when that pregnancy is over the Husbands are back to being beggars..oh how the human body works…

Let me know your thoughts on sex and marriage people? how do you add your VAVA VOOM?!


6 thoughts on “Sex and Marriage”

  1. Interesting blog post! This actually had me thinking..although not married, I believe the honeymoon stage is inevitable with most relationships. However, if I had things my way, I would prefer to be the one initiating the option of having sex …when I’m in the mood – of course. Is that selfish? Probably is right?

    1. I dont think that is selfish at all..HEy what ever works for you and you spouse..if the opposite partner agrees I say go for it..

  2. well, why question sex in marriages? correct me if i am wrong, doesn’t this happen when people are in the so call relationship?i believe that it does. to prevent this from happening, both partners have to work hard to keep sex in marriages and relationships alive. making your sex life boring in both marriage in relationship can lead to drop in the amount of time one will have sex with his or her partner!

  3. Makes so much sense…i totally agree with you..i however think its still up to the couple and what type of relationship they have.Having children or the number of children also highly affects sex in marriage.You should however keep in mind that there are exceptions!!

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